I am a bull-headed and stubborn person. Maybe you can relate?
The nature of my thought process is pretty linear: have an idea, come up with a plan, and execute the plan. I like this process because there are no people involved, and there certainly isn’t a lot of thinking.
And although it is never my intention, this nature sometimes manifests itself as a bulldozer. I am certainly not proud of this, in fact, I absolutely hate when I do this. But I must acknowledge that it’s part of the way I’m wired, and I have to be willing to check myself. This bulldozer personality is something that I am working on. I am a work in progress!
When I almost tanked my business – like water got shut off at my house, tanked – I had a business coach. I knew that something had to change, and I mustered up the courage to admit that I didn’t know what needed to change.
The business coach I had hired was recommended to me and given my complete lack of knowning what to do next, hiring her seemed like a good place to start.
Well, guess what? She fired me.
Oh yes, you read that right. My business coach fired me. You might be wondering why…
I didn’t do the readings she recommended. I didn’t do the work that she asked me to do. The only thing I was consistent at was canceling our meetings last minute. I remember her telling me that she couldn’t want success for me, and I have to want it for myself. I was so angry when she told me that. Did she even know me? No one could possibly want this more than I do. I wasn’t sleeping at night, I was constantly sick to my stomach, I had serious anxiety, and I was just plain stressed to the max. I wanted it more than anyone in the world.
When she fired me, I didn’t understand why. How was cancelling our meetings because something came up at the store a bad thing? I was putting my business first.
Do you know what she asked me when I told her that?
“Are you? Are you putting your business first?”
Still, I didn’t understand (cough-cough, bull-headed). The relationship was over.
Now let me set the record straight… not one of my proudest moments.
Eventually, it clicked.
At some point in my first couple of years as a business owner, I had accepted the lie that by putting out fires and being a great sales person I was prioritizing my business. But friends, that is not true.
Prioritizing you business means growing yourself and investing in education. If I wasn’t sound I certainly couldn’t expect my business or my employees to be.
So one day, after months of keeping myself in an insanity cycle, I realized something. I was a horrible leader because I didn’t have a plan. The day-to-day of owning a business was so overwhelming that I didn’t even know where to begin. The simplest solution was to do nothing. As sick and uncomfortable as I was, it dawned on my that I was “safe” in my crazy cycle.
Terrifying.
It was time to make a change and step out of that insanity cycle that was sure to run me to the ground. My transformation began, and it happened in three phases…
EDUCATION
- I didn’t just dive into education – I cannonballed in.
- I read so many books, signed up for a business coaching program, took a local leadership class, and subscribed to podcasts (which are free).
- I met with mentors who were more experienced and wise.
- I befriended local business owners and listened to their stories.
WORK
- I translated all of the information that I had absorbed via education and applied it to my business. Bridal is its own little world, am I right?
- I analyzed my findings and worked to understand how all of this information would impact my business.
- I took action and figured out what worked in my store and what didn’t. This was hard, because…change is hard.
ENDURANCE
Flipping a 180 on your business doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not a magic pill and there is no rainbow to find your pot of gold. You will hit road bumps along the way. It might get a little bit worse before it gets better, but that doesn’t mean you quit. So here’s what you do next:
- Track your time. Figure out if there are things that are sucking your time and could be delegated to other people.
- Block your time. Put your education/ training/implementation activities on your calendar. Sharpie them in just like you would a really important meeting.
- Stay focused. Don’t squirrel! Remember that it is important – maybe the most important thing.
- Power through. You will get frustrated, you will get discouraged, you will want to quit. Don’t do it.
Following these three steps made me feel like a business owner, not just someone who has a business.
Does any of this resonanate with you? Do you want to get off your own crazy cycle? If this bull-headed girl can do it, so can you.
I am so grateful that I can take everything that I have learned and package it up in a way that’s easy for bridal store owners to implement.
Oh. Celia, if you ever read this, I am so sorry that you had to fire me and that when you did I just didn’t get it. I am sorry for being an awful student. I am sorry for wasting your valuable time. I am sorry for not trusting your process. Thank you for firing me so that way I could keep going on my journey of figuring out this crazy thing called life and business!